Reflections on Easter

This past weekend I celebrated Easter, the death and resurrection of Jesus. Many would consider Easter to be the most important Christian holiday. I would agree that without the resurrection Christianity would have struggled to survive. But for me, this year was different.

Usually on Easter weekend, and especially Good Friday, I am reminded and completely taken back by the realization of God's sacrifice. The power of God's love to bring salvation to the world is awe inspiring. I would never deny God of the glory and honor He deserves. I give all thanks and praise to El Shaddai. However...

As I sat through Good Friday service, Saturday night service, Sunrise service and Sunday morning services, it didn't hit me. The tears that I typically shed never came. I keep thinking about why this Easter was different. Maybe its because of the course work I've encountered through my theological studies, or the fact that its the same old story told the same old way. More likely its because I haven't been spiritually aroused in a long time. I haven't felt God working inside of me. I see Him working through me and around me, but not in me. I have given my life to God but I'm disconnected from the Holy Spirit.

God,
I need you.
Mess me up...inside.
Bring me new peace,
New joy,
New hope,
New faithfulness...
As the deer pants for the water,
So my soul thirsts for you, O God.*
Search me.
Know me.*
I love you...

*Psalm 42 & 139
In Christ,